December | 2002 | Kellybones's Xanga Site

my new mantra:
Killing your landlord is bad, no matter how good the reason.

I locked myself out today, no biggy, I thought, I keep extra keys at work. Then I remembered, whoops, I took those extra keys home. Well shit, I thought and then called my landlord. No big deal, he’s supposed to stop out sometime this week to cover my bathroom vent so that my gas bill isn’t $82 to heat one small, small, efficiency apartment. He *sighs* says, “yes, that um, yeah, I guess…” mutters a bit and finally comes up with “…well, I have a meeting at 530, can you meet me at your apartment building between 445 and 500? we’ll take care of getting you in and your vent.” (mind you, I told them about the vent more than two weeks ago and they still haven’t really done anything about it….other than look at it and scratch their heads and wonder why the fuck it’s doing that) soooo…fine says me, and I get home about 430…mind you, my apartment building is supposedly secure and the doors outside lock, but I lucked out and someone had propped open a door. So…In I am. Inside it is still cold enough I’m wearing my hat and gloves. I wait. And wait. And wait. I begin to worry. And sense I have no watch, and I have no sense of time flow, I watch the buses. And when bus number three goes by…am I ever not a happy cold little Kelly. The buses run 15 minutes apart, which meant at the earliest it was 515…and probably later! And there had never been any sign of the landlord. So. I find some quarters and the phone number and call landlord #1 cell phone. Twice. No answer. Then I call landlord #2 cell phone. No answer. Well, now I’m all out of quarters and I’m really fucking cold and thirsty and hungry. So I walk to the “quickie mart” and ask what time it is as I buy a can of Coke. 10 til he says. 10 til what? 10 until 6.

and I growl. The man looked at me funny and then shrugged. So then I did what I’d been trying to avoid doing all night. I went to the next door apartment building and buzzed their landlord. This landlord, I’ll call him Frank, he is the father of landlord #2 and as such, has been given extra keys to my building. So Frank comes down his stairs after I buzz him and smiles at me, he remembers that this has happened once before but looks vaguely worried that my landlord #1 did not show up. So Frank slowly walks with me and slowly we walk up the stairs and slowly he lets me in.

So why didn’t I want to buzz Frank? Well, aside from the facts that he’s the one who had to let me in last time and the fact that it’s not HIS JOB TO BE MY LANDLORD, IT’S LANDLORD #1 and #2′s JOB….Frank is also the father of my landlord #2. Landlord #2 has GOT TO be pushing 50, possibly even 60 years old. So, I dragged a 70 or 80 year old man, out into the cold to let me into my apartment. Because I am stupid. And my landlords are stupid. And GOD DAMN….I’m sorry, but I am cranky. Semi-worried that my landlord is dead…but more pissed off now. I think that I was forgotten. Left out in the cold (and remember, he would not think that I could even GET INTO MY APARTMENT BUILDING!!!! so for all he knows, I’m still standing outside, in the snow/sleet/icy drizzle where it’s 32 degrees and DARK and in the RAPIST’S neighborhood).

So now what do I do? If I call him or he calls me…I’m really really really really really going to want to cry. Why cry? well, when I get really pissed off and have no way to deal with my anger, I cry. So. I think I’m going to go cry. Or maybe eat chocolate and then cry. Because you can’t eat chocolate and cry at the same time, it’s too messy…

Kellybones's Xanga Site

Month: December 2002

Kellybones