November 26, 2002

  • okay...


    I answered Dwaber's questions


    I have one for all of you that I can't seem to come up with an answer for in my own head and would like some feedback to.


    I'm a smart kid. I've had tests, I have gotten the grades so overall, I'm aware that I'm at least average intelligence and possibly more.


    I am fairly self-confident, I am not ashamed (usually) of my body, I try to be proud of who and what I am (sometimes I succeed too). I have been fairly successful so far in life. I work hard at graduate school and I consider myself to have a moderate amount of friends.


    Why then do I have this un-killable, un-conquerable urge to be wanted/needed? Following closely on the heels of that, why do I want so badly to be purely asthetically pleasing to the eye?

Comments (7)

  • I think we're programmed to think that way, Kelly.  Everywhere a person turns she is confronted with images of women who are marketed as being beautiful, as being the norm.  I think, in reality, 1% of the entire female population can actually measure up to that standard.  And although it's an impossible thing to achieve, this fashion model status, we do everything we can to achieve it because we're trained to think that's how it's supposed to be.  Even the best of us, people like you and me and our other female readers, I think, are affected in one way or another my the media's gross distortion of reality.  Know what I mean?

  • Amy has it right on. Society is too focused on what the media thinks is a perfect woman. And everyone else is conditioned to follow along. Positive reinforcement is offered for looking a certain way, even if it isn't realistic. I don't believe it is a purely female phenomina either.

    If it helps any, there are guys who don't believe in that. I find intelligent woman very sexy. It isn't all physical.

  • I don't know how to describe it. The qualities you listed are important, the conversation one especially. But being able to have a conversation about something other then the weather is what I am getting at. Call my kooky but I find a woman with a brain attractive.

    Animaniacs fan are we?

  • when it comes right down to it, humans are animals too, remember. so it's not unusual to want to appear attractive in any way possible (be that a beautiful brain and/or a beautiful body) to attract a mate.

  • ohhh..good point, Sonia. Nice.

  • Ditto to what you said, Kelly. You know I feel the same. That's why I'm in therapy. :-p

  • biologically we're kind of programmed to find companions, i think. and that's why we all want to be needed in some way, to share ourselves with another person and form that kind of bond you can't have with just yourself. and i guess this is where the want of physical beauty comes in because theoretically beauty attracts people attracts love and maybe thats just what we all want.

    by the way, why things burn is an amazing book, and daphne gottlieb is one of my favorite poets. she's not incredibly well-known (but i get plus points because she's a local) but is worth a read. i also want to thank you for the comment you left on my entry last week (i think?)....i appreciate it :)

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