I was very bad yesterday and had a coke.
But I had been cataloging and packing all day and I really felt that I
deserved SOMETHING for that. I put all my non-fiction books into a
spreadsheet and then packed those and then I put all my cross-stitch
kits, charts, books, floss and equipment into another
spreadsheet….those are only about half-packed though. Counting all my
books and charts, I appear to have approximately 600 cross-stitches of
varying sizes and complexity to do. Oye. That is a lot of crafting yo.

So as a break, I walked to the BP that is about four or five blocks
away and bought a coke, a pepsi (for my hubby) and a caramello and a
reese cup (also for my hubby). It was very nice out and the walk was
very refreshing.

I also did lots of laundry. Towels, mostly. I think we might use too
many towels. I think I wash towels at least three times a week.

I’m also slightly cranky. My family all went out together on Friday.
But I and my husband were not invited. I’m trying to take it maturely
and not see it as us being excluded. After all, my parents and his
parents did meet with us for dinner on Saturday. But still. I guess I
would have liked to have been asked, especially since it was a
restaurant that I like a lot. It also contributes to my general feeling
that my family is irritated that I am leaving because they will miss
me, but they don’t want to tell me that they’ll miss me, so instead
they just become irritated at me. It is frustrating. I will miss them
too. They are more than welcome to visit in Arizona. I plan to visit
home once or twice a year. My parents have a time share in Vegas and I
plan to visit them in Vegas when they are there.

But I can’t stay in Indiana. Not and have a job that I want. A career
even. I didn’t go to school for six years to work at Subway, you know?
I’m feeling terribly defensive I guess, because it’s hard to find
support for our decision to move. I try to view it as MY life and my
decision. But damnation if I wouldn’t appreciate a “I’m sorry that
you’re leaving, I’ll miss you but I understand that you need to go and
I’m happy for you because of that” kind of sentiment from someone.

Did you have a bad day?

I did.

My parent’s dog died.
I worked an 8 hour shift and got yelled at by at least 4 or 5 customers. We ran out of bread. At Subway. Yup. Bread.

I’m just terribly cranky now.

I’d swear it was PMS but I don’t do that anymore (at least not yet). Maybe I’m pre-menstral in sympathy or something…

Thanks for the thoughts….

Few things on that….
In terms of teas – I’ll take recommendations in terms of what actually
tastes good. I like chai, but that’s basically just sugar and milk with
some vague taste of tea.
Apple juice + me = bad. I love apple juice. My bowels do not. Ditto for
orange juice, cherry juice, grape juice….ummmm…basically all juice.
If I had a job where I could stay at home, this would be a wonderful
choice. However, I can only flat out dash to the toilet so many times a
day at Subway.
What kind of protein shakes do you recommend?
And where do you buy smoothies? Perhaps in Phoenix there are smoothie
places, but in the Midwest, do people even really know what a smoothie
is except for at the Orange Julius station at the mall?
As for Splenda – ewwww. It makes my tongue tingle. 
I don’t mind carbonation. In fact, I love it. But it’s hard to find
something that’s not entirely sugary, caffeinated or else loaded with
fake sugars that are terrible for the diet (I don’t so much like
beverages that increase my already substantial appetite).

In other news….
who wants to write a resume that makes the fact that I haven’t had a lab job since 10/2005 look good?

And how is the weather in the rest of the US? It’s been weird here. It
was 50 all weekend and sunny and now it’s snowy and about 30. We’ve had
very little snow and a lot of rain. I’m kind of afraid we’re going to
get nailed here about February with some nasty real winter weather.

Two days with no sugary beverages = really bored tastebuds.
I’ve decided to unbend enough to pick up some flavored carbonated water so that my mouth is not so damn bored.
I am so bloody tired of water.
What do other people drink besides water and milk? I mean, damnation, my tongue is crying out for variety.

Of course, you have to realize that my food doesn’t really vary much. H
doesn’t really eat much variety. Picky comes to mind. And sadly, this
is food that we really like.

Our average dinner meal is: grilled chicken (plain), green beans (no
salt no butter), red beans and rice and a baby spinach salad with some
croutons and fake bacon bits. Once a week or so we substitute fish or
grilled pork loin; veggies can go to corn or peas; and the red beans
and rice to black beans and rice or maybe some couscous but the salad
never changes. Every other week or so we have mexican night – fat free
refried beans and 96% lean ground beef with delicious shredded cheese.

I eat subway for lunch, because, well, there is no option. I can’t
bring food into work and I don’t have time to eat anything really,
except a sandwich on the fly. I’m partial to veggies or turkeys made
with as many pickles and tomatoes as I can possibly fit on a sandwich.
I’m weaning myself off of high fat, high calorie dressings (because I
can eat them in the 1/2c quantity size).
He takes left over red beans and rice for lunch.

My snacks are usually cookies. Hey, I get subway cookies for free – if
they’re broken. And when I’m bad, those little boogers break a lot.

Breakfast is leftovers from the previous night’s dinner (if there are
any) or soup and sandwich. I’m partial to beef vegetable soup lately or
else chicken and rice.

Our only real downfall? Pizza. Thursday nights I get frozen pizza. Why?
That’s grocery shopping day. I hate grocery shopping. Not really. I
just hate spending money on something I’m just going to EAT. It’s
mostly people that I hate too. You can find some real winners shopping
in the Midwest grocery stores. So I get a frozen pizza as a treat. I’m
working on finding a lower fat/calorie one…but I’m really lacking the
motivation.

We go out as a couple sometimes. Maybe once a week or less. Sometimes,
when we’re busy, it just doesn’t happen. It’s easier to throw something
on the George Forman and eat at home.

I don’t really know where this blog is going….
except…
what on earth can I drink that’s not carbonated?
I don’t like tea – at least not without ooodles of sugar and honey and maybe some milk and then why bother? Coffee = blech.
Any other thoughts? I’ve considered fruit juice, but I would have to be
very very careful given my bowels generally delicate nature (they don’t
really like fruit. or most veggies. or whole grains. in fact, they’d be
most thrilled if I only ever ate meat and maybe a little bit of butter)

Just home from the grocery store — it’s Thursday, my errand and shopping day.

My cashier looked at me funny. I had two frozen pizzas – one cheese for
me and one pepperoni for my husband, topped with a bag of M&Ms and
two exercise DVDs (one is a DVD form of a VHS one I used to have and
can’t find and I bought the other one because it comes with a stretchy
band that I wanted anyway for the same cost so I figured I might as
well get a free DVD with the stretchy band).

Monday I officially stop all sugar beverages. Not just caffeine. Yucky
that. Though, the past two days I’ve been migraine free which is
amazing after so many damn headaches. I’m up to 70 or 80 ounces of
water a day – I piss like a racehorse all the damn time but I think
it’s been helping prevent the headaches.

Yesterday we had three showings of the house and three really pissy
cats who didn’t appreciate that TWICE in one day they were shoved
willy-nilly into cat carriers with their despised harnesses on and put
in the car for over an hour. I didn’t mind too much. I got to have
white hot chocolate and spend an hour talking to my husband, rather
than packing or cleaning something.

That’s the sum total I’ve got to say really. I’m going to dye my hair
(medium golden brown) and read some Pratchett before I put the pizza’s
in around 8ish so they’ll be nice and warm when hubby gets home from
aikido.

Yesterday was the first showing of the house (it went on the market Friday).

We were not prepared.

AT ALL.

My husband text messaged me at 2pm to tell me that there was a showing at 5:30pm.
I text back “TODAY!?”
(I was in the middle of making my sandwich and hadn’t eaten all day and I wasn’t stopping until I’d eaten that damn sandwich.)

He texts back at 230pm – CORRECTION – 5PM!

So, naturally, since my sandwich is consumed, I flip out and tear my
hiney home and begin cleaning like a mad, mad, mad mother-fucker.

By about 4pm (I got home at 245pm – I sped. A lot), the house was
passable. Barely. The floors need a better mopping and the appliances
aren’t as clean as I’d like, but on the surface, things were good
enough.

Then we harness all three kitties – including fat Possum who we had to
go buy a medium sized DOG harness for because the large cat and small
dog sizes don’t fit – and stuff them into their little carriers. Then,
in the truck, they get to go in the big carrier. It’s about 4 foot
long, two foot tall and about two food wide. This is a popular carrier
for the kitties, until they realize that they’re in there for the long
haul.

Zeppo hates driving. My cats at least like it – they get to look out
the windows, it’s exciting and new. But Zeppo yowls. Not so much so
this time – not only could he look out the windows, Possum took to
hissing at him and swatting when he got too obnoxious with the yowling.

To burn the hour that the people were in the house, we sat in the park
in the truck (it’s damn cold) for about thirty minutes or so, reading
our respective books. Then we had delicious Taco Bell (while Zeppo
yowled some more). And then we reversed the kitty process (which
involves a bit of grabbing and tugging and swearing) and we were home.

Happily, no kitties escaped or were killed.

Also happily, I have a new flat panel monitor and desk space.

And I also spent two hours on Tuesday – one at the BMV and one at the
Social Security office, and according to state and federal government,
I am now legally Kelly Married Name.

Though, all my credit cards and my bank stuff are still Kelly Maiden
Name. That’s on my current agenda to take care of. Discover card just
let me e-mail them the changes. I don’t know how the rest of the
companies work it – I have to call them and ask them. Just what I
anticipate with joy – hours on hold with credit card companies!

Ah well.
I’m still caffeine-free and still basically living with a constant headache. It’s irritating but I’m adjusting.

Yergh.
One whole week with no caffeinated beverages.
There have been sugary beverages
and caffeine in the form of midol and chocolate.
But no cola-fied beverages.

The headaches are mostly reduced to a dull ache of WANT.
But mostly, the psychological need is bad now.
I don’t need a coke.
I want it.
And I want it BAD.
So bad that I can literally taste it and that just typing about coke is actually making my mouth water.

I think I’ll go eat some leftovers and drink water. *sigh*

Our poor Mr Zeppo cat had to get his teeth cleaned on Tuesday. When the
vet called about an hour after I dropped him off, I was fairly
convinced that the vet had killed my husband’s cat. Luckily, she was
just calling to ask if they could grind off two of his teeth.

That’s right. Grind. Not pull. Apparently, they don’t do extractions
for little kitties. They grind the bastardly teeth down so that the
roots can reabsorb and there isn’t a big bloody crater. Still…I don’t
want anyone grinding in my mouth.

Anyway, I gave my permission and expected Zeppo to come back slightly
tooth-less. I was wrong. He is now almost entirely toothless. They
ground out six of them. He had some sort of lesion under them all -
apparently the equivilent of cavities in a human. But much more
painful. No one in the vet’s office could actually believe that he
could eat hard food – or that he was the little chunky bugger that he
is. He is not a light-weight – being a good 14.5lbs and a little kitty
goodyear around the middle.

Since then, he’s been a little sad. Mostly because my cats apparently
have a problem with him. I think it’s the smell of him – either of the
vet’s office (though, unlikely, they all three went to the vet together
and had no problems) or the anesthesia (more likely, they tried to kill
each other after they were spayed and both smelled of anesthesia).
Whatever it is, they hiss at him whenever they see him and swat him and
try in general to make him miserable. But that’s okay, they’re doing it
to each other as well. It’s a house full of pissy, pissy cats lately.

Otherwise, he seems fairly normal. He’s been getting canned kitty food
- the height of luxury in these parts. Boy, oh, boy does it SMELL. It’s
some strange fishy congealation that makes everything stinky. And we
have to feed him in an enclosed area so they other two fat heathens
don’t eat it – so we do it in the bedroom. It is a LOVELY way to fall
asleep, I can tell you. He keep trying to eat the dry food, but since
he has no teeth, he keeps swallowing it whole. I’m kind of afraid
that’s going to make him yak, so we’re trying to limit the intake.
His bigger beef right now is that we pin him down twice a day and
squirt a nasty antibiotic down his throat. It wasn’t difficult before
the tooth grinding, but he is a bit mouth sensitive so I can’t make him
open his mouth by squeezing his jaw-hinge anymore. I kind of have to
sneak the head of the syringe in and wiggle a big until I can get him
to open enough to squirt like mad. I’m just glad we stopped giving him
the pain meds. Those made him one looooooopy little cat.

Well, now that I sound like the crazy cat lady….

Other news – My head still hurts. A lot. As in migraine level pounding,
sensitivity to sound and light….ugh. I am trying very hard to avoid
OTHER sources of caffeine so as to just quit as soon as possible. I
have been giving in and taking one midol at night. Yeah, midol. Not
that I have cramps – but the fairly low dose of caffeine in the pill at
least vasodialates my brain enough that I can fall asleep and stay
asleep. We are doing well on the whole getting the house ready for
going on the market. The kitchen, bathroom and bedroom are mostly clean
enough for pictures. The dining room needs about 15 or 20 minutes of
work – after we remove the just polyurethaned boards from the table.
That makes for an appetizing smell, let me tell you!

We have gotten two wedding presents. That is a weird thing. One from my
mother and one from his grandfather. I need to keep track of these, as
I need to send thank you cards. It’s just weird to get presents for
doing something that we wanted to do. Birthdays are weird enough – it’s
not like I did anything but survive. Birthday presents ought to go to
my mom who birthed my nearly 9lb ass. And Christmas is a general
“everybody” gift time. It’s just weird to not feel like I deserve
anything – at least for graduation, I felt like I’d accomplished
something. Is finding a man and getting married supposed to be an
accomplishment or am I just overly sensitive to these things?

My beloved caffeine, how I miss you.
My head is pounding so…
all the muscles and tissues in my neck and head and brain are all screaming for a little bit extra of the blood, you know?

And I know just what I could do
I could drink me a little bit of cola beverage right now
and I’d feel great and then I’d feel very very guilty about how
I could not stay away from that stupid bubbly drink.

Ugh.
Ibuprofen and Bed for a bit, I think.

Goals.

Everybody has them. Even if they don’t admit them. Even if the goal is
just to maintain the same old somethin’ somethin’. That’s still a goal.
Something to strive towards.

My goals?
Well.
Short-term:
    ~Finish my current cross-stitch.
    ~Clean everything in the entire house in prepartion for the impending market date (01/06/06)
    ~Quit drinking soda. All of it. No weaning off, no
diet only, no just sugary beverages with no caffeine. Quitting. Always
and forever! I’m an addict and a bad one at that…I think cold turkey
maybe the only way to go.

Long-term:
    ~Find apartment in AZ.
    ~Move to AZ!
    ~Find a job in AZ that actually uses my degree, my brain or both.
    ~Start and hopefully complete before 2007, the great
permanent house hunt. I’m hoping for 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, attached
garage with nice tile and wood floors, maybe a fireplace….perhaps a
bit greedy, but hey, I’ll dream big, yo.

   
Perhaps more to come?
It’s a good enough start for now.

What are your plans for this coming year?