To add to an already somewhat bad/cranky inducing day…

At about 415am this morning, I heard something that sounded like someone running into my door or else my cats knocking something off a shelf.

If it was a burgler, I wasn’t going to get up (don’t ask me why, I’m not coherent at 415am) … and if it was the cats knocking something off…well, that happens a lot.

Then I realized it was getting WARM in my apartment and thought “Shit, maybe my air conditioner blew up! I guess I’ll have to call maintenance in the morning…”

Then I heard the same sound again, but louder. And it sounded like it was coming from outside my window. I groaned, rolled over, put my glasses on, twitched the curtain aside (carefully, as I sleep starkers) and looked out.

Onto a car fire.

BIG car fire. And some of the tires had blown up. Hence the loud sounds – they were explosions.

About 10 feet or so from my window. Hence the getting warm inside my apartment.

It was also right next to MY CAR.

While my first thought was to run out and move my car, I determined very quickly that this was a Bad Idea and I ran to the kitchen and called 911 instead. As soon as I said carfire, they said my address, so I assume someone else had just called it in. Then I got dressed so as not to flash the firemen (meanwhile hearing ANOTHER explosion, this one really freaking loud). I went outside and got to watch them put out the fire. Which was big enough that I was really starting to worry. My apartment building has big pine trees that overhang the parking lot and then touch right up against the building, and the flames from the fire had one of the trees on fire….

All I could think was…”Oh, please don’t let the  building catch on FIRE! I’d have to catch three cats and two rabbits and stuff them into boxes/bags…” Which wouldn’t be too bad, I suppose, if I had 5 pet carriers…but I only have 2. And no way are my fat ass cats fitting all three into one with the rabbits stuffed in the other.

Anyway. I am out there, my upstairs neighbor (Amanda) joins me and we watch them with the floamy stuff put out the fire (three times). Then the very nice fire chief comes over and asks us who we are, if we know whose the three cars (the one on fire and the two on either side of it) are. I claim mine and he asks for the keys to check for damage/fire inside the car.

Apparently no visible structure damage. Paint is melted/scorched on the passenger side of the car, as is the plastic on the inside.  I was parked on the driver side of the car….the car parked on the passenger side is pretty much a write off as well as the original on-fire car.

No word yet on what caused this fire. We (the upstairs neighbor and I) did hear the words “car bomb” tossed about. *shiver*

After about an hour, the firemen sent us inside. I’m going to go watch the rest of the events through my window — I’m really doubting that I could sleep if I wanted to.

I’ll let you know if they determine what actually caused the fire.

It’s 87 degrees out.

I spilled one set of my experiment allllll over myself.

My apartment smells vaguely like cat pee and rabbit pee and I can’t figure out why.

My boss read the first two sections of my thesis and ripped me a brand new ass hole.

I think today calls for pizza and ice cream.

Mad World -

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world … world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

Gary Jules from the Donnie Darko soundtrack

Up until 3am. Finished abstract for first part of my thesis. Finally came up with a title (Using melanocortin 1 receptor variation to examine small-scale melanistic pattern polymorphisms in birds: why other genes need to be considered). Still plugging away on part 2 of the thesis. It is not going well. It is going bad. BAD. BAD. BAAAAAAAAAD.

As a positive, I did find the missing key to the laundry room while doing laundry at the laundromat.

Had my first facial today. Got all wrapped up like a little Kelly burrito and had a lady pour steam on my face and squeeze the livin’ bejeebus out of it. I’m kind of glad that I didn’t have to see any of what she did…because it was extraordinarily odd and somewhat painful. I spent most of it with thingies over my eyeballs – I’m sure they have a name but I don’t know it. They’re moist and cool and comfy and they’re nice thingies whatever they are. My nose and all my other skin feels all stretched out and empty and naked. Which I guess is a good thing, it was a deep pore facial. But man….some weird shit happened on my face. The only thing I remember clearly is her sticking some thing that sounded like it was going to electrocute me on my face to kill the bacteria.

I also had my first manicure. I remain unimpressed by the art of painting and playing with fingernails.

The facial though….I could seriously grow me some addiction to those. However, the $65 price tag will preclude the addiction from growing too large. Thank goodness for gift certificates. (I got this one for bunny-sitting – and boy, oh boy, oh boy DO I DESERVE IT! <stupid fucking rabbits>).

Also did another 10 miles on the bike, which was better since it’s only about 75 out and I remembered water. I think I’m going to start biking a longer way to work to up it to 10 every day…

I’m off to the laundry after I shower so that I can stop smelling like cocoa butter (arm massaged with this…I hate this smell, but liked the massaging)…I have approximately 12 loads to do. And that’s not counting the sheets/comforters that need to be washed and will have to wait until I have access to a clothes-line.

Biking seven miles in about half an hour is in theory a good idea.

Except when it’s 90 degrees out, you’re pissed off and you forget water.

I got all motivated to do my laundry. I separated the colors, filled up the baskets, dug up some quarters and got out the detergent. And now guess what? I can’t find the key to the mother fucking laundry room.

Bugger.

I’m a lurker. It’s just easier most of the time to watch, to observe and to not participate. To formulate what I would do, what I could do…but never to do it.

This is a bad habit.

In many ways, being a graduate students encourages this habit. I am isolated in my lab and not required most of the time to interact with anyone other than the few people who share that space with me. A comfort zone with people I’ve become comfortable with. The only time I really see people that I am not comfortable with are when I’m in class – and very rarely do I take classes in my own department, which discourages socialization on their part (molecular biologists and biochemists don’t as a rule like molecular ecologists – we’re too soft and too general and not heavy duty with the new techniques and applications) or else, I see other people when I teach. As a teacher, there really isn’t much ability to socialize with students. Especially when you look like me. I’m not quite 5’2″ and I look about 12 — to invite socialization and interaction on a friendship level is to lose what little respect I can manage to gain by being grumpy and hard-assed. Respect is important to, in the science world it is damn hard to come by when you have tits. Friendly but never friendship.

Twice in the last few weeks this situation has been reversed though. Testing my skills or lack thereof. I can’t schmooze. I try. I fail. So I stop trying most of the time and stand in a corner. I went to a conference at Penn State and except for a few attempts, I couldn’t or wouldn’t interact. I also had two days worth of interaction with the DNR (Department of Natural Resources). There’s a crowd I’m even LESS able to schmooze with.

Part of it, at both of these events is that I of course, have tits. Especially lately with the random growing events, they’re kind of hard to miss. For the DNR, I’m just a little girl who’s out playing with the birds, not someone to be treated with respect. For the scientists, I’m often considered to be man-shopping…looking for my MRS degree not my MS degree. This is a bit less of a problem in the molecular world, and, I think, a bit more of one in the ecology world. Molecular biologists rarely go in the field, whereas many ecologists don’t consider you a “REAL” ecologist unless you go out in the field. And women aren’t typically welcomed there.

So, I’m not entirely sure what to do. It’s hard to do a lot of things. I try to interact, I try to be friendly, but I’m not a naturally social person. It hurts my networking ability, hell, it also hurts my dating ability. I need, desperately, to learn how to schmooze.

I don’t suppose they offer that as a class anywhere?
Schmoozing 101 for losers? I guess that would be offered right after Methods in Flirtation 100…